,

HOW TO STOP ISIS? GIVE THEM A JOINT, A CASE OF BEER AND A HOT CHICK!

Seriously, what’s with these stupid shits? What sane person runs around the desert in 120° weather wearing black suits, beanies and full-face masks? Talk about sweating your ass off! How about their illustrious leader, a total schmuck whose mother probably dropped him on his head when he was born, that tells them that if they die killing innocent men, women and children, they’ll go straight to heaven.  And even better, these dumb fucks are told when they get to heaven, they’ll immediately be blessed with 72 virgins all for themselves. Talk about a pipe dream? These demented assholes rape every female they get the hands on when they take over a village. We normal guys throughout the rest of the world screw anything we can get our hands on that doesn’t have a dick. There are no virgins left anywhere! WTF are they thinking?

There are an estimated 200,000 ISIS  soldiers, so just to accommodate them,  there has to be over 14 million virgins up there in heaven. How in hell do these nitwits think there can be 72 virgins for each one of them? There’s no way there are 14 million virgins in heaven, no matter how ugly they are. I guess any guy that thinks a woman looks sexy walking around wrapped in 10 layers of rags and a bag over her face would believe anything. Don’t they know that when a chick has a bag over her face you’re off for a bad start to begin with?  Can you imagine how bad those women stink when you strip them down?

And what do the ISIS soldiers have to do to get to the 72 virgins?  They have to wear vests loaded with dynamite and blow the shit out of themselves. Those stupid fucks don’t even have any dicks by the time they get to those 72 virgins in the promised land.  Maybe that’s why there are still virgins up there. No dicky, no fuckee!

 

Howard WTF Baer.

, , , ,

PUSSY BALL HAS REPLACED PRO FOOTBALL. THEY SHOULD ALL BE WEARING BRAS AND PANTIES, NOT HELMETS AND JOCK STRAPS. FOOTBALL IS JUST NOT THE SAME TOUGH GAME IT USED TO BE.

football girl

Football just isn’t the same. I was watching the Browns, Bengals game a few weeks back and one of the Browns tackled one of the Bengals. The tackler got up in the other guys face, gave him some shit and walked away. Yellow flags all over the field and a 15 yard penalty. It’s pussy ball, not football. When I was a kid it was rough and tumble. If you tackled someone and had them face down, you stepped on their helmet shoving their face into the mud.  If he was on his back, you kneed him in the balls. If you got to the quarterback, you picked him up and body slammed him. If someone grabbed you by the facemask, you’d break his arm. Now these wimpy guys look at the ref and yell, hey ref, ref, ref, he touched my face mask. Ref, that big guy tried to hurt me. Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo. Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of pussy ass shit is that?  In the old days you’d hear, you lame ass motherfucker, you knee me in the balls again I’m going to stick your head up your mothers ass. Now, it’s ref, ref, ref, he tried to hurt my dickie. That’s not football, that’s fucking wussie ball.

 

Okay, I agree with some of the protective gear, particularly helmets to protect guys from getting concussions. That’s serious trauma and it could screw up somebody’s life. I get that. But hard hits, taunting, threatening and basically crushing a competitor is what football is all about. This isn’t tennis or ping-pong, this is fucking football. It’s supposed to be one of the toughest sports in the world and it’s turned into a bitches game. Giving crap to the competitors was always part of the sport. Now you get fined 15 yards if you look at the other team cross eyed.  It’s no wonder passing records, rushing records and receiving records are being broken in every game. You can’t touch the other guy so how can you stop them? It’s more like wimps and wussies than rough and tough.

Even some of the football names are totally weird.  You ever hear the name Ha Ha Clinton- Dix?  (Hillary Clinton’s dick? No surprise there.) How about Danny Woodhead? Too bad his name isn’t Richard. We could call him Dickie Woodhead.  Fair Hooker used to play for the Browns. Must’ve been one hell of a locker room gang bang with a Fair Hooker around. We need to get back to the days of real football, with muddy fields and tough players. Mean Joe Greene, Bronko Nagurski, Jim Brown, and of course, Dick Butkus. These were football players.

Hell, I’d much rather watch Lingerie League Football. It’s tougher than Pro Football and you get to see some great T & A. (For pro football players reading this, T & A stands for tits and ass.)  So the next time you’re watching a pro football game, do me a favor.  Try closing your eyes and picturing all these guys wearing bras and panties. Better yet, try it now. Close your eyes and picture some fat football player in lace bras and panties. Victoria Secret lace bras and panties, to be exact. Picture them in a huddle and the quarterback with his hands under the crotch of a 300 pound centers ass in those lace panties.  I’ll leave you with that sucky vision in your head. Hey, enjoy the games this weekend.

, ,

THIS STORY IS ABOUT BOOBS. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THEM OR DON’T HAVE THEM, DON’T BOTHER READING THIS.

boobs

Why are men so fascinated with female boobs? I recently had a meeting where a female member a company that we were meeting with had what looked like a fairly new rack. They were rock solid and looked great. I found myself constantly staring them and any time I tried to look up my eyes strayed immediately back down. Now, I’m the kind that tries to look in somebody’s eyes when I’m talking with them, particularly about business or in a meeting, but I invariably found myself staring at those tits.

I really wonder what you women think when us perverts do that. You girls must realize it when we’re taking a sneak peek. And if you’re wearing a low-cut with that cleavage sticking in our faces, you’re obviously looking for us to stare at them. Right? Is it’s as obvious to you girls that we’re staring at them as it is to us? When the girls in our office come up to give me papers to sign or to show me something they’re working on, they lean over the front of my desk, and guess what, beautiful boobs right in my face. How can I not look at them? You girls have to know we’re staring at them and you must like it, otherwise, why do you stick them in our faces? Do you get embarrassed or do you think, how cute, “he’s staring right at my tits!” Many times I want to just reach out and fondle them because it feels like they’re being offered up. Is that allowed?

All of us guys need answers to these questions, so maybe some of you out there, male or female, can help out? Is it ok if I stare at her boobs, and does she get off on it? (I do!) And one last question. Will the girls I know that read this cover up in front of me now or show more cleavage?

Lets hear your opinions.
HB

, , , ,

FERGUSON-THE NEW NON- AMERICANS

screen_shot_2014-08-14_at_8.41.25_am
This whole story is absurd and should just go away. But, the Reverand Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, two scum of the earth pathetic excuses for human beings both claim that Officer Wilson had “no reasons to shoot” Mike Brown. So all the asses of the world are protesting. Brown just robbed some poor store owner and pushed him aside like a feather duster when the owner tried to stop him. Officer Wilson confronted Brown. By most accounts, Brown tried to attack and grab Officer Wilsons gun. Wilson fired to stop Brown. Brown, 6’4′ and 294 pounds came at Wilson. Wilson shot and killed Brown.

Was Wilson supposed to put his gun down and get the shit kicked out of him by Brown, or possilbly killed by Brown? Brown was a criminal that just robbed a store. BUT, Brown was black so it was okay? I don’t care if he was pink, white, yellow, green or black. He’s a criminal. He was a punk kid that got what he deserved for stealing from some poor guy trying to make a living. End of story. WTF!